LOSING IT

Yesterday:
Today I woke up without the courage
The courage to go out and face the world
But what has the world done?
To deserve such treatment from me?
While we ponder that, hear this:
I lost the courage to go into the sun
I lost the courage to see the faces
I lost the courage to face them;
The prying eyes that follow you
Left and right, up and down
As you go about your business.
I lost the courage to be subject to their judgement;
She is pretty, she is not
She is thin, she is not
She is tall, she is not
She is intelligent, she is not
She is nice, she is not
She is perfect, she is not
She is this, she is not...
Oh! I lost it all!
The courage to face the world's judgement.
So here I am without it,
Without the boldness to face the long stares and questioning looks,
Without the boldness to stand in the open subject to their scrutiny,
Laid bare; of my privacy by someone's inconsiderate perusal And of my dignity by their blatant gazes
Yes, I've lost it,
The ability to go out and brave it;
The experience of being xrayed by others
Fellow humans with biased opinions like mine.
So I'm gonna stay in and make do
With all I've stocked up for now
Till I get fed up of losing it
And go out to enjoy the breeze...

Today:
Today I went out...

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