HYPOCRITE

Often times I've shied away from writing for the world. For to write is to bare my heart; to bare my heart is to bare my soul, to bare my soul is to expose me to the world, to you. To your scrutiny and to your criticism, to your judgement and to your denunciation of me; of what I think, of what I stand for, of who I really am. I stay in my fragile shell, seeking its meagre protection but it fails me. I retreat into my woolly cocoon but oh what folly that is too, for it's protection is not an inch enough. Worst still, my heart betrays me; it begs to be heard, to be seen, to be revealed, to be exposed if not necessarily understood. Today I'll give you a glimpse, it might shock you, what goes on in this heart or it might be just what it is, another heart's expression... Hear me:

I've been a hypocrite
I haven't checked the meaning of that word in earnest but my thoughts tell me it describes me well,
I've been a hypocrite
I've judged others for crimes I was prone to commit
I've looked down on many when I wasn't any better
I've evaluated people by standards I don't measure up to
I've thought I'm perfect when I know I'm not
I've been a hypocrite
I've preached what I don't practice
I've expressed passion with a half hearted faith
I've pointed others to a path I don't tread
I've followed quietly rebelling within
I've been a hypocrite
I've done things I'm publicly ashamed of but secretly celebrate
I've proclaimed a gospel I still have trouble believing
I've called others names I deserve to be called too
I've led a life of disciplined indiscipline
I've been a hypocrite
I'm not a political satirist
I'm not a sleek tongued litigator
I'm not a skilled artist
I'm not a seasoned poet
I've been a hypocrite
I am not purging
I am not renouncing my hypocrisy
I am not calling you to judge me
I'm expressing my heart's thoughts
I've been a hypocrite...

I'm not done talking but let's begin by pausing here...

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